Going Through Atlanta
From Great Marriage
Friends,
Someone has talked to me about loss & grief every day for the last few weeks. Many of you know that my wife, Jo, and I write and publish a resource for couples called Great Marriage. With so many people within our circles struggling with grief, I have decided to share a recent Great Marriage post here. It’s aimed at helping one’s spouse, but has application far beyond marriage.
Thanks,
John Crosby
Going Through Atlanta
Great Marriage
Issue #0081
John Crosby
The holiday season, spanning from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day, is a deeply meaningful time in our country. It's a period rich with expectations and reflections on past and present. For many, these weeks are filled with joy and festivity.
However, for those experiencing grief, the holidays can be particularly challenging.
Much like how travelers from the Southeastern U.S. know that flying Delta inevitably means passing through Atlanta, grief is an unavoidable layover during the holiday season which presents inescapable reminders of loss—whether that loss involves a loved one, trust, health, or personal capacity.
Grief arrives unpredictably, often surfacing in waves. It can be triggered by moments of celebration or even the smallest conflicts.
If your spouse (or another loved one) is grieving this holiday season, here are some compassionate guidelines for supporting them:
1. Anticipate grief: If your spouse has experienced loss, expect that grief may arise throughout the holidays.
2. Avoid trying to "fix" the situation:
- Do not attempt to solve or resolve grief
- Refrain from explaining why they shouldn't grieve
- Don't try to distract them or change the subject
- Resist using humor to mask your own discomfort
3. Stay present:
- Lean in. Do not retreat or abandon them
- Avoid becoming frustrated, overwhelmed, or disappointed
- Remain available and supportive
4. Provide emotional support:
- Understand that grief moments are normal during the holidays
- Offer a hug or a shoulder to rest or cry on
- Listen more than you speak
- Offer to pray with and for them
If you find this post helpful, or you’re just looking to continually improve your marriage, you may consider subscribing to Great Marriage. An annual subscription is less than the cost of a single couple’s counseling session, and gives you access to all past posts! You may also gift a subscription to someone else.
