Twenty years ago, the average unchurched person thought the church was irrelevant. So, ministries hosted events focused on practical needs like parenting, financial management, leadership development, and marriage enrichment to show how the Bible and the focus of the church was relevant to people’s everyday needs. The thinking was that if unchurched people were struggling with those needs or simply wishing to grow in those areas that they might be open to the church’s teaching; Then, as they benefited from those Biblical principles, they would naturally be more curious about the source of those principles – the Bible.
Today, the average unchurched person thinks quiet differently about the church. Those on both sides of issues like abortion, homosexuality, transgender, and even political party divides, have positioned the church as closed-minded, judgmental, bigoted, self-righteous, and even dangerous. This perspective demands a different approach by ministries wishing to reach unchurched people. The challenge today is not for the church to prove itself relevant, but to prove itself loving.
The challenge today is not for the church to prove itself relevant, but to prove itself loving.
Some ministries have decided that the only reasonable way to be more loving is to compromise God’s Word. They have continued to rely on teaching to draw unchurched people while promoting their compromises as compassion. For this writer, that seems a bit lazy, ill-advised, and in direct contradiction of Revelation 22:18 that sternly warns against adding to or detracting from God’s Word, specifically his judgement.
I have no desire to debate the specific compromises here. Though I will challenge those churches responding to dramatically different perspectives of unchurched people with the same or only slightly modified approaches. Whether a church holds to Scripture as being inerrant or has decided to modify the Word in their own effort to be more compassionate, few are going to be effective at reaching unchurched people through events focused on teaching. Afterall, who wants to sit and listen to the teaching of closed-minded dangerous people.
The challenge for the church is to love and engage unchurched people so fully that our relationships open their minds to the impossibility of loving and accepting people embracing hurtful or harmful teaching. It may be cliché, but we must earn the right to be heard. Tactically, this is a vastly different approach from identifying broad needs and developing events focused on teaching people regarding those needs. For most of us, that means that we must assess our events differently. It’s easy to promote needs-based events, fill the room, and call it an outreach event. But who’s really there? If it’s one’s own church members and believers from various other churches, that’s okay - if that’s who we sought to serve. But how often are we filling rooms just that way and calling it “outreach”? How often do we then bemoan the fact that unchurched people just don’t care, or they’re not interested in whatever we’re teaching, when it’s that they simply don’t trust us? We wouldn’t blame them if we understood their perspectives. They think we are bigoted simpletons; And they won’t know any different until they feel loved by us.
How do we overcome that? We must be present with those around us. In a world that encourages us to park in our garages, seek entertainment and connection online, and trust no one, building new friendships takes many believers and unbelievers out of their comfort zones. When we can connect with our current friends and family from anywhere at any time, we’re not nearly as open to connecting with the people around us as we once were. Most of us are far more likely to text a friend while standing in a room full of strangers than we are to initiate conversation with those standing around us.
But Christ-followers should be different. Can you imagine Jesus overlooking Zaccheaus, missing the touch of the woman with the bleeding disorder, or failing to notice the woman at the well because he was texting James or sending memes to Peter? The church is dwindling because we have lost our focus. While we’ve been distracted, the unchurched world has changed. So, we’re simply shuffling believers from one church to another with programs that no long attract unchurched people and calling it “outreach” as if reaching unchurched people no longer matters. Somehow, we’ve settled on teaching, entertaining, or encouraging people rather than loving them. If we’re honest, it’s often because those are easier. We can stay in our comfort zones. Loving people is harder than teaching or entertaining them. Loving people is messier. It costs us something. It’s not as easy to scale, measure, or keep score. Loving people requires individual believers to act. It’s not the work of teams or committees, nor is it offered from the stage.
The news networks are no longer trusted. The government is no longer trusted. Most businesses are no longer trusted. The police are no longer trusted. The church is no longer trusted. But do you know who is trusted? That one newscaster, one elected official, one business owner, one police officer, or one church member who has connected with you and shown you that he loves you. And because he did that, the news station, government, business, police department, or church of which he’s a member has more credibility with you. You’ll be more receptive to what they offer.
If you want to gauge how effective your church is at outreach, look in the mirror. Consider how engaging you are with others. How many unchurched people have you engaged in the last year? How many know that you love them? How many have you invited to your home? Do they trust you? What have you done with that trust? If you’ve earned the right to be heard, what have they heard you say? Have you introduced them to your church?
If not now, when?