Such a Perplexing Man
Judas. On the surface, he’s such a perplexing man. To have walked so closely with Jesus, and then to betray the greatest love he ever knew. To so pervert such love & grace…
Not he, but me.
When I balk at the authority of the Word over my freedom to choose, have I not perverted the grace that redeemed my foolish past?
When I reject authority simply because it restricts my autonomy?
When the debt I hold over others would fail to cover the interest on my debt that He paid in full?
When comfort lures me from growth?
When the admonition of friends settles like dust on my path?
When I contribute more strife than peace?
When I scowl at His Bride as if she’s neither respected nor liked?
When worship thinly veils the dullness of my ungrateful heart?
When the Sabbath becomes more practical than worshipful?
When I offer what’s left rather than my first fruits?
When the ashes of my pride & fear smother the flame of the Spirit?
When my remote is more worn than my Bible?
Did Judas betray only once?
I’m such a perplexing man!
I’ve been urged by my need,
invited by your promises,
& called by your Spirit
to the throne of grace.
Here I am.
My guilt on one arm,
your Son on the other.
Confident He’ll tilt the scales in my favor.
My great on-going sin has drawn your great on-going grace.
Defend me from myself.
Have mercy on my deadness.
Should my hope be in myself, I shall surely be undone.
Flood my soul with living water. Wake me from my stupor.
Ignite flames of passion from within my fatigue.
Bring forth Spring from Winter, rapids from snowbanks.
Engage my heart.
Stir my faith.
Prune me of useless branches.
Pardon & prepare this perplexing man
to be defined, led, & loved by you.
Thank you Lord.