The Secret to Fulfilling Prayer

I’ve been praying for well over 35 years, but most of my prayer life has been a farce. My public prayers were distracted by my need to impress others or at least not embarrass myself, and my private prayers were so easily distracted I’d often forget I was even praying.

Then I read the most unique and important teaching on prayer in the history of the world.

In Matthew 6, Jesus taught on prayer differently than any other religion, theology, or philosophy ever had. In fact, what Jesus taught on prayer was wholly different than any other teaching in all of Scripture. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gives us the keys to the Throne Room of the Universe AND tells us how to unlock it from our own homes, workplaces, or SUVs.

Yes, The Lord’s Prayer is in Matthew 6. But if we start our study of prayer with The Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:9, we risk missing Jesus’ secret to fulfilling prayer. Matthew 6:5-8 holds the secret to connecting with God through prayer.

⁵ “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. ⁶ But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

⁷ “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. ⁸ Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Matthew 6:5-8

Let’s start with the first sentence. Most of us go right to “you must not be like the hypocrites.” But back up. Don’t overlook “And when you pray…” Jesus assumed his audience – those who followed & those who would be enemies – prayed. That’s hardly a safe assumption today.

Daniel prayed three times a day (Daniel 6:10). The Psalmist prayed seven times a day (Psalm 119:164). Anna worshipped with fasting and prayer night and day (Luke 2:37).

Yet, let’s be honest. We live in a prayerless world, and we worship in mostly prayerless churches. Most of us are not praying consistently. If we were, our churches and lives would be considerably different.

Why aren’t we praying?

Since we tend to engage those who matter to us, and prayer is intentionally engaging God, perhaps prayer doesn’t matter much to us because God doesn’t really matter that much to us.

The first part of the secret to fulfilling prayer is praying.

That means believing God exists, cares about us, is capable and willing to intervene in our lives, and then consistently engaging him.

I love where Jesus goes next because I’ve often been told to preach and teach the positives rather than the negatives. But Jesus often taught what we should believe or do by first telling us what we should not believe or do. He made the light of truth shine brightest against the darkness of falsehood. He said,

It’s easy to read this passage and get tangled in discussions of postures. But the Bible shows that one can pray sitting, standing, kneeling, or prostrate (face down). Jesus modeled most of these postures himself.

It’s also easy to focus on right and wrong locations. But that’s simply chasing a rabbit into the proverbial briar patch. Jesus also modeled prayer unbound by location.

I underlined the key word in the preceding passage. “That” refers to motive. Jesus is referring to people who pray publicly with the wrong motive. He’s not discrediting public prayer. He prayed publicly. He’s discrediting distracted prayer – pretending to connect with God while simply hoping to impress other people.

The original definition of a hypocrite was an actor who wore a divided mask. He would stand on stage facing one direction and the audience would see one character. When he faced the other direction, the audience would see another character. A hypocrite was “two-faced” - perceived differently based on the direction he faced or the audience’s perspective.

Jesus taught that we can’t pray and perform in the same moment. We can do one or the other, but not both. If we’re after the applause of others, we will not receive an affirmation from God. We cannot lull God into thinking we’re focused on him while seeking to impress others. We must be honest with ourselves. If our audience is anyone other than God, we’re not praying. We’re performing.

Look at verse six:

What God wants more than anything else from us is intimacy. We achieve intimacy when we give another our full undivided attention. We should not utter a syllable of prayer without first being aware of God’s presence and then becoming wholly focused on his presence.

Jesus is less interested in our prayer closet than in our ability to eliminate distractions when praying. He’s teaching us to find the time and place where we’re least likely to show off or get distracted. Perhaps that means removing our phone or closing our laptop. Maybe it means finding a place we don’t associate with other tasks, thoughts, people… Whether we struggle with internal or external interruptions, Jesus is addressing our need to focus without distractions.

Focus is the second part of the secret to fulfilling prayer.

Why?

Because distracted, insincere prayers lead to doubt, disillusionment, pride, fear, and skepticism.

Look at verses 7 & 8:

“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

Do you enjoy being with people who talk just to hear themselves talk, often talking a lot without saying anything?

Neither does God.

Jesus is telling us not to approach God that way.

Martin Luther explained this passage on prayer this way: “When praying, be brief, frequent, and intense.”

Augustine said, “Remove from prayer much speaking.”

Charlie Brown said, “Stop Babbling.”

First century Jews often prayed long repetitive prayers. But that’s not what Jesus is addressing here. He’s addressing insincerity.

Sincerity is the third part of fulfilling prayer.

Notice in verse 7 he said “…do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do.” Gentiles are non-Jewish people. Earlier, I mentioned that Jesus’ teaching on prayer was unique among all religions, theologies, and philosophies. First century pagans, much like modern Hindus, Buddhists, and Muslims believed much avails much, implying a form of lip-labor involving vain repetitions often evolving into a mindless chant believing the more they offered, the more God would act. One example of this is found in Acts 19:34 when “the crowd cried out in one voice ‘Great is Artemis of the Ephesians’ for two hours.” Another is 1 Kings18:26-29 when the pagan priests opposing Elijah chanted for hours, “O Baal answer us.”

Today, we can easily turn the Catholic Rosary (which came to Catholicism from Buddhism through Spanish Muslims in the Middle Ages) with its fifty-three Hail Mary’s, six Our Fathers, and six Glory Be’s, along with our rote prayers before meals, The Lord’s Prayer, or traditional church creeds into the same thoughtless vain repetitions with the same lack of sincerity, focused engagement, or fulfillment if we get lazy or slip into going through the motions without meaning.

The goal of prayer is intimacy with God. Much like our personal relationships, intimacy fuels compassion, grace, love, and trust while false intimacy fuels mistrust, defensiveness, judgment, and distance.

When God made us in his own image, he implanted his greatest desire within each of us. Like God, we crave intimacy. Nothing else satisfies that longing. That’s why I refer to “fulfilling prayer.” Authentic prayer is intimate prayer. Intimate prayer is fulfilling prayer.

The secret to fulfilling prayer is not about eloquence, cadence, wordsmithing, or length. In fact, short, simple, and sincere is often the best kind of communication with God and others.

The secret to fulfilling prayer is praying often with focus and sincerity.

Thanks for Reading,

John